Human Sexuality
God's Sacred Design

When God created our sexuality He had a Sacred Design in mind. A special purpose. It was His hope that He was providing to men and women a great gift to share together in the context of Sacramental Marriage. In that context, each encounter is Blessed by God, and men and women share a unity that transforms them into being one with each other and one with God. We can only experience the fullness of our sexuality if we follow God's Sacred Design for our sexuality.

The Catholic Church's teachings on sexuality aren't just a bunch of bureaucratic rules designed to keep us in line. That teaching is, in the truest sense, a blueprint for happiness. Following the Church's teaching encourages spouses to respect each other. It facilitates Loving communication. It helps them to Love each other better. It protects them from the creeping selfishness that tears at the fabric of what Love should be.

Unfortunately, the current culture looks at it very differently. Even people who identify themselves as practicing Christians (both Protestants and Catholics) usually have no problem with sex outside of marriage as long as they feel they are in love with the other person. This philosophy is fraught with pitfalls. Making a free will choice to live a lifestyle that is counter to the way God made us leads us to much unhappiness in the long run. In order to live that way we have to falsely justify what we are doing and that tears away at our own human dignity.

Here are just a few examples of how not following God's Sacred Design for our sexuality can lead us astray.

Confusing Sex With Intimacy-One of the primary reasons for God's Design is that He wanted men and women to learn how to share a kind of intimacy with each other that didn't rely on sex. Any married couple can tell you that after marriage the emotional and psychological feelings about sex change. If couples are engaging in pre-marital sex, often they confuse sex with intimacy. The only way they know how to share intimacy is by having sex. After marriage, when the nature of sexuality changes, couples are lost as to how to be intimate with each other. As a result, the relationship falls apart. Many people go there whole lives and never develop the intimacy tools and skills necessary for a happy marriage.

Confusing Sex With Love-One of the primary reasons for God's Design is that He wanted men and women to learn how to share Love with each other that didn't rely on sex. Any married couple can tell you that after marriage the emotional and psychological feelings about sex change. If couples are engaging in pre-marital sex, often they confuse sex with Love. The only way they know how to share Love is by having sex. After marriage, when the nature of sexuality changes, couples are lost as to how to Love each other. As a result, the relationship falls apart. Many people go there whole lives and never develop the tools and skills necessary for Love in a happy marriage. The problem here is that you can't build a great Love based on a sexual attraction.

Serial Monogamy-One horrible consequence of modern thinking and practice in sexuality is a phenomenon called serial monogamy. We convince ourselves that it is OK to have sexual relations with someone we love, even before marriage, just as long as we are "exclusive" with that person. Unfortunately, most of the time we are participating in serial monogamy due to the lack of skill we have in creating real love and real intimacy as described above. Also, we are probably in this relationship with someone who is also in the same pattern. We find ourselves in a long-term pattern of breaking up and starting the same process all over again with another person.

Emotional Fallout-One of the primary reasons we get together with someone is that it feels great to be wanted. Having sexual relations with that person can give us a sense that we are really wanted. Unfortunately, most of the time it is a false sense of security. Perhaps the most damaging effects occur when broken sexual relationships confirm and compound our core fears, leading us to become even more convinced that we are inadequate, unlovable, worthless, not good enough, and unimportant.

The Catholic Church teaches that special moments in Marriage should be the norm not the exception. God's sacred design for Love, Marriage, and sexuality are a plan for happiness and fulfillment. To find more out about the details of that plan, a good place to start is to read a wonderful Encyclical by Pope John Paul II called:
Familiaris Consortio
(On The Family)